Shake It Up

Recently an unexpected 6.0 earthquake shook Napa, CA and shocked residents of the idyllic winemaking valley. The damage from the quake resulted in hundreds of millions of dollars of damage to historic buildings, several fires, and about 200 injuries. Within hours the governor declared a state of emergency and mobilized the necessary resources to assist the county.

But there was a silver-lining to the chaos caused by the earthquake. Within a few days, news stories began to emerge marveling at the sudden increase in water in the rivers and streams surrounding Napa. Geologists soon confirmed that the four to ten time increase in flows in streams and rivers were the result of the earthquake shaking loose groundwater supplies. For a drought stricken area, this presented an unexpected gift in the middle of an otherwise challenging and difficult time.

No one in Napa would have asked for that earthquake. Earthquakes are destructive and undesired. But sometimes earthquakes bring unexpected goods along with them. They expose weakness and demand that we rebuild more wisely. They force us to work together and to care for our fellow man. And, yes, sometimes they even open the ground and release springs of water.

These things are true, not only of physical earthquakes that affect the ground, but also the earthquakes that affect our relationships, health and finances. You may never have experienced a violent, building destroying earthquake, but almost certainly you have walked through a death or sickness in your family, the loss of a job or even a fissured marriage or friendship.

These quakes are no less destructive than the ones that shake the ground and they can result in severe and long-term damage. But they can also reveal inside of us, wells of strength and untapped resources that we did not know existed.

I have experienced a number of violent quakes in my life. Some of them were so severe that I wasn’t sure I would make it out. But I have discovered that when I look up to heaven and ask for help instead of looking down and cursing the situation, I discover God’s grace and help in ways I didn’t even know existed.

Jesus said, “whoever believes in me will have rivers of living water flowing from his heart.” I have found this to be true, especially when circumstances are at their shakiest around me. When we reach out to our Heavenly Father in earthquake moments, we discover that He has hidden resources reserved for the moments in life when we need them most.

The pastors in Kings County would love the opportunity to encourage you to tap into the river of God this weekend. Why don’t you grab your family and get into church this Sunday? You will discover new resources in the midst of the earthquakes of life.

Stop Going Around

Most of us have a built in dislike for anything that makes us uncomfortable and is difficult. And that is normal. There are times when this self-protection mechanism is beneficial to us. Running straight into a buzzing hornet’s nest is just not very smart and will most certainly result in great pain and suffering.

But when it comes to relationships, this natural inclination toward self-protection often results in behavior that actually causes more pain in the long run. You know how it goes, your spouse, friend, boss, or co-worker has a pattern of doing or saying something that is hurtful to you. Your choice is to either ignore it or talk about it with them. The “talking about it” option sounds difficult to most of us. We immediately envision that conversation going very badly and we generally chose to avoid it at all costs.

We chose to work around the issue rather than confronting it. Often, we go to ridiculous lengths to avoid having that talk. Sometimes we avoid the person for as long as possible, coming up with any and every excuse in the book to keep from being with them. When avoidance is not an option, we will often end up acting like nothing is wrong at all.

For many relationships, this strategy is the equivalent of watching the dog go to the bathroom in the middle of the floor and then, instead of cleaning it up, we just throw a rug over it and try to avoid stepping on that spot again. Everyone knows what happened, but no one will actually clean up the mess.

And generally, if the dog has done his business once, they are going to do it again. And again. And unless we change our strategy, we end up with land mines all over the living room as we delicately seek to step in just the right places so as to avoid exposing the mess.

Eventually, the smell becomes so bad that it would seem the only option would be to actually clean up the messes. What is so sad is that more often than not, what people do is one of two things: either they just continue to act like nothing is wrong (no matter how ridiculous this might seem) or they just move into another room.

Everyone knows that a dog mess does not clean itself up. So if you are not going to throw a rug over it, you have to get out the cleaning supplies, put on some gloves and just get to it. Usually, the smell gets a little worse and sometimes you even get a little bit of it on your hands, but soon all evidence of the mess is gone.

In relationships, the only real way to clean up messes is that you have to chose to go toward them rather than go around them. You have to roll up your sleeves and get into it. Of course, you need the right supplies and strategy if you are going to have a good result—if you use cleaners that are too harsh, then you’ll do more damage than good.

The best, most intimate relationships are those that have worked through tough stuff and come out on the other side. The most superficial relationships are those that avoid the tough stuff altogether. You might have been married to or known someone for fifty years, but if you’ve never dealt with the dog doodoo then you haven’t really gotten very far.

What messes have you been avoiding in your relationships? Where have you fallen into the habit of going around things rather than simply talking about them? Maybe the next time you run into a relationship mess, you should move towards it rather than running away from it.