Kindness

for The Sentinel Life Notes

As a parent of young children, I often forget that my job is not to create little robots that snap to attention whenever I speak. The problem is that I really like it when they do. It makes me feel like I'm doing a good job. When my kids misbehave in public or conveniently fail to hear me when I speak to them, I feel that I have been slighted and my authority is being challenged. So I find myself focusing on their behavior and demanding that they "act" the right way.

But this is all wrong. As a parent, we are given a great responsibility and the goal is not to create little people that "do" the right things. It is not that doing the right thing is unimportant—all of us want our children to grow up and do great things—it is just that "being" is much more important than "doing."

We can program computers and robots to "do" the right things, but their value to us only lasts as long as they continue to do their task well. People, on the other hand, are valuable because they are beings and not just doings. Just because people get old or break down in some way, their value does not change.

People's value is in their being. It is found in who they are, not what they do. And that is why as a parent, I have to constantly remind myself that I am developing a "being"—a person who is much more then just a sum of their activities. More important than my child doing the right thing, is whether their actions flow out of a heart that has been developed the right way.

We all know the difference between doing something because we have to even though everything within us is rebelling and doing something because we want to. Good parents are more interested in developing their child's heart because doing flows out of being.

I think that is why Father God really is the best example of a parent that there is. Think of how infinitely patient He is with us. He takes the long view of developing us as people. He is not nearly as interested in what we do as He is in who we are. We get these things reversed all the time and that is why churches can be such mean, judgmental places.

God is so infinitely patient with us, He keeps giving us chance after chance after chance. He sees our failures simply as an opportunity for us to grow and is always kind enough to embrace us when we turn back to Him. I love the verse in Romans that says it is "His kindness that leads us to repentance."

Not only as a parent, but as a friend, as a spouse, and as a person in relationship with others—we all must remember that the best way for us to respond to other people is with kindness and grace. People are not just a means to an end, they are valuable because they are created in God's image. They are valuable because they are human beings, not human doings.

So the next time you are tempted to treat your kids, like I so often do; or the next time you are on the verge of reacting to others in anger or in an attempt to control, remember how God works with you. Try operating out of kindness and concern for the other person, it just may change your life—and theirs.

This weekend the pastors in Kings County would love to help you learn more about the character of Father God. He really is the best example that we have, we would all do well to pay closer attention to the way He responds to people and use Him as our model.