How Old Are You?
My wife is celebrating a birthday today as I write this column. She is one of those rare individuals that age twice as slowly as the rest of us. She also grows more beautiful and kind by the year. When I first married her I knew that I was getting the better part of the bargain. Four kids and more then a decade later, I’m still convinced marrying her is the best thing I’ve done apart from deciding to give my life to Christ.
She represents that special breed of people that are always thinking of others first and themselves last. I struggle with this because I am a chronically self-centered individual. I hear it in my response to people or in my inner talk all the time, including my own children. I am perpetually telling others how busy I am and how I have so much to do.
My prayer is that as I get older, I am getting wiser and thinking less about myself. I think these qualities are a much better indication of a person’s real age then the number of years that have passed since their birth. Just because someone gets old doesn’t automatically mean that they are getting better and becoming less of a jerk!
I am sad to say that our culture seems to be getting more selfish rather than less. It seems that we are more and more focused on the things that matter to us as individuals—our personal happiness, our goals and our work. We keep telling ourselves that “we” deserve “it”, with “it” being whatever floats our boat at the moment.
I think it is fair to say that children are generally selfish. As a general rule, they just come out that way. Half of the job of a parent is teaching their child that the world is not centered around them. We expect kids to be selfish, and we also expect them to become less selfish as they grow older.
But it seems that fewer and fewer of us are actually learning this important lesson. And so people walk around in adult bodies but still act like children. They still throw tantrums when things don’t turn out the way they thought they were going to. They still get their feelings hurt when someone doesn’t treat them just right. And they still demand all the attention in the room.
Meanwhile, there is a world all around us that is hurting and that we could help make a better place — but we don’t because all we can see is our own little world where all that exists is our own stuff. Our kids are begging for our real attention but we’re too busy to give it. Our friends are frustrated because all we talk about is ourselves. And our spouse is fed up with having to parent their husband or wife because they refuse to be anything other than a child.
So the question I pose is, how old are you? Are you just getting older or are you maturing? Are you better this year than you were last year? Make a choice to exchange your happiness for someone else’s every once in a while and watch what happens to your own!
The pastors in Kings County would love the opportunity to talk to you this weekend about the ultimate servant Jesus Christ. Why don’t you get your family in church this weekend and see what God can do.
She represents that special breed of people that are always thinking of others first and themselves last. I struggle with this because I am a chronically self-centered individual. I hear it in my response to people or in my inner talk all the time, including my own children. I am perpetually telling others how busy I am and how I have so much to do.
My prayer is that as I get older, I am getting wiser and thinking less about myself. I think these qualities are a much better indication of a person’s real age then the number of years that have passed since their birth. Just because someone gets old doesn’t automatically mean that they are getting better and becoming less of a jerk!
I am sad to say that our culture seems to be getting more selfish rather than less. It seems that we are more and more focused on the things that matter to us as individuals—our personal happiness, our goals and our work. We keep telling ourselves that “we” deserve “it”, with “it” being whatever floats our boat at the moment.
I think it is fair to say that children are generally selfish. As a general rule, they just come out that way. Half of the job of a parent is teaching their child that the world is not centered around them. We expect kids to be selfish, and we also expect them to become less selfish as they grow older.
But it seems that fewer and fewer of us are actually learning this important lesson. And so people walk around in adult bodies but still act like children. They still throw tantrums when things don’t turn out the way they thought they were going to. They still get their feelings hurt when someone doesn’t treat them just right. And they still demand all the attention in the room.
Meanwhile, there is a world all around us that is hurting and that we could help make a better place — but we don’t because all we can see is our own little world where all that exists is our own stuff. Our kids are begging for our real attention but we’re too busy to give it. Our friends are frustrated because all we talk about is ourselves. And our spouse is fed up with having to parent their husband or wife because they refuse to be anything other than a child.
So the question I pose is, how old are you? Are you just getting older or are you maturing? Are you better this year than you were last year? Make a choice to exchange your happiness for someone else’s every once in a while and watch what happens to your own!
The pastors in Kings County would love the opportunity to talk to you this weekend about the ultimate servant Jesus Christ. Why don’t you get your family in church this weekend and see what God can do.
3 Comments:
Happy birthday to your beautiful wife. She is a special person and mom. I don't think of you as selfish, you do a lot for your church family as well as your own. We appreciate what you do and love you for it.
May your lady have a blessed birthday today! =)
The husband and I have gone through a lot in our fourteen years of marriage, but these past few months have matured us quicker than all of that time put together. Do I regret the recent and ongoing maturity? No. Do I regret the fact that he and I are growing in our walk with Christ? No. Not at all. Would I have chosen for his health issue to be the deciding factor that matured us the way it has? Nope. Definitely not. (The husband has a different opinion on that matter, but I won't go there right now.) I think sometimes we focus so much on what we're going through (not that that's wrong, to a certain extent, hard times are difficult to ignore) that we forget to focus on the growth and the fact that the hard times can and WILL help us grow in our relationship with God. Maturity isn't something you always notice right away -- sometimes it takes a while before we look back and say, "Whoa, I didn't even realize how far I've come!"
And what you said is true -- when you're looking out for other people and doing what makes them happy, it does something within you, brings God's love for others into your own heart, and makes you happy too. =)
~Jessica
I copied and emailed this to someone I cared about because I want a blessed relationship as you two demonstarte to me. Also thanks for your teachings on the Bible, I loved Life Lab's and miss it so much! I do my own life lab's at home now instead! but I look forward to the day they might start again =D Happy Birthday Kerry! you always remain to hair your hair so beautiful! wow and with 4 children, I am in aww! Love you all! Rhonda Gaines
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